on october 25th of this year i flew home for the last time to mom's house.
it was my last home with my parents - i was a freshman in college when they bought their dream home - a beautiful ranch style house made of "old brick". one of three on the block, the yard was open and big and filled with promise and hope.
this three bedroom, two bath home was the culmination of my parents' determination to put my sister and i through college - doing so by moving us into a duplex that was one of the first "co-ops" in charlotte - we lived cramped and in far too close contact for my sister and myself, sharing one bedroom while mom and dad had the other. my sister left for grad school when mom and dad found the beautiful promise of a new life.
as the second owner of this home, it felt like brand new - rich wood floors and paneling in the den, wood floors throughout... and those bay windows in the den overlooking the yard that would have dad's small garden and his beloved gas grill. in the worst weather, dad would be there with his umbrella happily grilling to perfection... the rain didn't matter.
after dad died in 1983, mom stayed for another 28 years - never leaving their home. she lived alone in her home with determination. i had moved away after grad school to take a teaching position in new england... one that lasted six months before i made the dash for freedom in new york city.
my older sister stayed in charlotte, teaching first at our alma mater, then teaching at the local community college until she retired. i used to think our relationship was rocky due to the close proximity and inability to escape into our own private spaces in the early years in the duplex, but nothing changed as we aged. we had periodic episodes where we got along - when she came to ny to visit and go to special events, but i realized that i was little more than a free hotel room. ours relationship seemed better at a distance, as did my relationship with mom.
when i moved to california in 1993, it was after reagan killed the arts and richard miller killed off wang labs. i moved west for work - not realizing that it's true about hotel california - you can check in but you can never leave. once here, i didn't have the funds to make the 3000 mile trek back.
come with me on the journey home for the last time...